Journal 2018

I recently watched Come Sunday, a movie based on true events where a Black preacher, who had a successful church ministry, experienced a crisis of faith. He had some pride (I suspect), a poor relationship with his wife, and was married to the church. He preached salvation and evangelism out of fear. One day, as he agonized over children being abused in Africa, he “heard God say” that all those people were going to heaven. His conclusion was that there was no hell, and he became a Unitarian. Half the church accused him of heresy. He indeed became a softer man, more tolerant of people, and he had a better relationship with his wife.

But, and there’s a huge BUT here. Is his theology correct? Whose voice did he hear? God’s? Satan’s? His own? Or was he stepping into denial?

Stepping into protection mode and out of pain can produce a false peace. I’ve watched my clients do it. I’ve done it myself. One day, when life’s circumstances left me feeling like I was suffocating inside a box, in my visual I stepped out of the box. That seemed like a reasonable solution, for it felt good to be able to breathe again. But my prayer partner called me on it. “Go back into the box and feel the discomfort,” she instructed. When I did, that’s when Jesus came into the visual, expanded my space and gave me His breath. I had to face my pain, not run from it. The result was permanent peace, whether I was inside or outside my box.

When a neighbor of mine, who used to lead worship at her church, got hurt by some Christians in a Bible study, she stepped away from the church forever. She couldn’t reconcile the God she thought she knew with the God of these intolerant Christians. She says she’s at peace now, but I suspect she just dissociated from her pain.

Now, is it possible that God gave this preacher truth about the suffering kids in Africa? I wasn’t there in his head. But I do know that when someone we’re praying with hears an obvious lie or contradiction to scripture, we test the voice using I John 4:1-2.