How to Make a Good Decision

From my 2012 Journal. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out, but once I did, following these protocols for making a decision has saved me a bucket load of embarrassment and regret.

  1. When faced with a double-bind, work through your feelings about each side individually, one at a time. Once you feel at peace no matter which side you choose, your solution will be much clearer to your rational mind. Emotions cloud your ability to choose wisely. (If you need help working through your feelings, give me a call!)

Example: If I choose Option A (accept a new job offer), I’ll feel some fear. If I choose Option B (stay with my present job), I’ll feel some regret.

  1. Want to know God’s will? Make no decision to move forward until you’re at peace about it first. Then you’ll be able to hear God’s voice more clearly.

Example: A classmate of mine in college felt great angst about his passion to become a missionary pilot. Somewhere he’d bought into the lie that God would never give him the desires of his heart; he was afraid that God was just testing him. It seemed obvious to me that it was God who had given him the passion in the first place, and I told him so, but I didn’t know then how to help him work through his emotions.

  1. Never confront someone, write a letter, or send an email or text while you’re triggered. You’ll say stupid things you’ll regret, and the cleanup from the mess you create will be harder and take longer. Always come to peace in your heart first, and then say what you have to say. (I’m speaking from experience here, folks.)

Example: I doubt if you need one. We’ve all done it!

Violence and Lies

For the rich men of the city are full of violence [of every kind]; Her inhabitants speak lies and their tongue is deceitful in their mouth (Micah 6:12 AMP).

From my 2009 Journal. Because I grew up in a loving home, sheltered from violence and hatred and evil, it was hard for me to conceive of men willfully choosing murder, crime, and destruction. And then I began working with SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) victims, and I listened for hours to unspeakable stories of raw evil and witnessed the results of perpetrators’ horrible deeds. When I read this verse, I can now begin to imagine the horror of an entire nation involved in wicked choices. No wonder God was upset with Israel!

I think there are two kinds of people: wounded (that’s most of us) and evil. A frightened and vulnerable teenage girl who aborts her baby is in a different category from someone in the occult who rips a child from his mother’s arms and places him on Satan’s altar (See 2 Chronicles 28:3). Worshipping a false god can be done out of pain or ignorance; but once a person witnesses evidence of God’s power and still chooses the fake way, that’s foolishness. Someone who chooses the violence of human sacrifice, however, has crossed over into the enemy’s camp. God’s judgment is severe for evil men.

The second half of this verse reveals the source of evil choices: lies and deception (coming from The Father of Lies). Most of our emotional suffering is a result of believing lies. Bad things that happen to us can be painful in the moment, but the lies we believe about the event keep the pain alive. And where there’s unresolved pain, there’s often destructive behavior.

Victims of extreme abuse can go either way: become perpetrators themselves or reject all things evil and run to God. What a joy to watch the latter find healing from their trauma. These overcomers have a special place in God’s kingdom. They are my heroes.

Evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. (The Life of Pi, by Yann Martel)

To read more about child sacrifice, check out https://www.worldvision.org/author/caleb_wilde, 5 things you need to know about child sacrifice in Uganda. (Unfortunately, the USA is also guilty.)

It’s Not All About Me

Each man’s eternal rewards are proportional according to his faithfulness and not to his earthly recognition or the lack of it. (From a commentary on Jeremiah 33)

From my 2009 Journal. Though I grew up in a tribal village in Africa, I fear I now think more like an American—touting individualism rather than tribal values. So when I hear God’s prophetical words to Jeremiah: I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security (Jer. 33:6 NIV), I want to ask, “What good did it do Jeremiah to learn that God would restore Israel in the future?” He’d never live to see it. Why should he care how many descendants David’s throne will have when he (Jeremiah) is being hurt, mocked, and imprisoned? The future won’t affect him personally!

But there’s that thing called “hope.” This earth, this life isn’t all there is. There’s a bigger picture. I’m just one speck in the Grand Plan. I’m part of the Global Tribe. My part is miniscule, but important, in God’s eyes. It’s not all about me and only me. God was showing Jeremiah that his life was not in vain, that His calling on his life was important for the greater good.

Though I’d like to think otherwise, life is not all about me–or as my mother used to say to my preschool self: you’re not the only pebble on the beach.

Grandson Noah who needs more help than he thinks he does to navigate his world

A Paradox of Emotions

From my 2009 Journal. Can you be happy and sad at the same time? Have joyful, high energy while experiencing peaceful, low energy? Be angry yet calm? Can you be a dynamic general while speaking softly to your troops?

Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O Daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your King comes to you; He is [uncompromisingly] just and having salvation [triumphant and victorious], patient, meek, lowly, and riding on a donkey, upon a colt, the foal of a donkey. (Zechariah 9:9 AMPC).

These two lists of adjectives sound antithetical. “Triumphant and Victorious” generally indicate boasting over conquering an enemy and jubilation over self-prowess. How can Jesus come “patient, meek, and lowly” while being triumphant? There is a different noise and energy level: one is loud and boisterous with a celebratory atmosphere. The other is quiet, reflective, somber, gentle, easily imposed on, and submissive. Lowly by definition means low in status or importance, humble.

The only way I can reconcile these two lists is that the PEOPLE were acting triumphant and victorious, whereas JESUS’ position was meek and lowly, patient with the people. They wanted to crown Him King (as was His right) and so He didn’t stop them. But neither did He stop His march toward death. I don’t think Jesus’ emotions matched those of His followers.

Conflicting emotions make me think of funerals. You feel relieved when a loved one dies after a prolonged and painful illness. You acknowledge the joy of the person who is now in heaven and whole in mind and body, yet you feel deep grief at the loss of the relationship.

Or maybe it’s how you feel when someone gives you a surprise birthday party. Everyone is excited and anticipatory, but you may feel dismay that you didn’t come dressed appropriately for the occasion and also humbled that so many people love and care for you.

What situation creates a paradox of emotion for you?

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Just Follow the Instructions

From my 2009 Journal. When my three girls were getting ready to live on their own, I gave each of them a homemade cookbook filled with our favorite family recipes. (See below.) What I knew by intuition and experience didn’t always translate onto paper, however. Apparently I did not give precise enough instructions, for I’d frequently get a phone call asking me to clarify an ingredient or procedure.  

In contrast, when God gave instructions to His prophets, He was detailed and precise. One day He spoke the following to Jeremiah:

  1. Stand in the court of the Lord’s house (where and with what posture)
  2. Speak to all the cities of Judah that come to worship there (what to do and to whom)
  3. Speak all the words that I command you to speak; diminish not a word (what to say—precisely, fully, accurately) (26:2)

And so Jeremiah obeyed. But after he finished Step #3, the people, priests, and prophets seized him and threatened to put him to death.

Jeremiah’s response is most interesting and gratifying. He obeyed God out of a peaceful heart because he had already grappled with the fear of the results of his actions.

Be assured, however, that if you put me to death, you will bring the guilt of innocent blood on yourselves and on this city and on those who live in it, for in truth the LORD has sent me to you to speak all these words in your hearing (Jeremiah 26:15 NIV).

My first takeaway is that God’s will was accomplished through Jeremiah’s obedience. Second, obedience does not guarantee comfortable results! (Gulp)

When God gives instructions, He is the expert. He knows the intended outcome as well as the steps to achieving that goal. His instructions are clear and precise. When God speaks, it is in our best interest to listen . . . and obey to the letter.


Intro to Katie’s Cookbook:

Dearest Katie-Bug,

I’ll never forget the day you came into my bedroom early one Saturday morning and announced that pancakes were ready. You were so small, you probably had to stand on a stool to reach all the ingredients. I was astonished. “How did you . . . ?”

“I read the instructions,” you replied.

Up to that time, your classic experiments with ingredients in the kitchen consisted of getting a small mixing bowl, a big spoon, and anything in the cupboard you could find:  a little flour, some sugar, a pinch of various random spices. And when you were satisfied with the results, we would bake the concoction at 350 in a disposable pie tin. Incredibly, sometimes the product was edible! You were so proud of yourself and your creations.

Of my three girls, you were the most interested in what went on in the kitchen—until it came time to clean up, and then you would suddenly declare you had to go to the bathroom; and off you went, conveniently waiting till the task was done. You were most intrigued with the creative part of cooking—like decorating Christmas cookies. Your latest endeavor was decorating a gingerbread house. Remember your attempt at making stroganoff for your dad while I was in California!? But you became a master at turning out perfect macaroni and cheese.

Here are some of our family’s favorite recipes—some yours, some your sisters’ favorites. Keep them safe, for when you get to college, it’ll save you a phone call or two to find out how to make . . . (no, there’s no recipe for making French fries or ice cream!)

May you continue to hone your skills in the kitchen so that you can minister to others, perhaps to your own family some day.

I love you with all my heart,

Mom


Chocolate Chip Scones

1 ¾ cups flour                         1/3 cup butter

3 T sugar                                 1 egg, slightly beaten (reserve some)

2 ½ t baking powder             ½ c chocolate chips

½ t salt                                    4-6 T cream or milk

Combine dry ingredients.

Cut in butter, add egg, choc chips.

Add enough milk so dough leaves sides of bowl.

Knead on floured surface gently 10x

Roll into a circle ½ inch thick

Cut into wedges. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.

Brush with little bit of beaten egg.

400, 10-12 min.

On Divorce

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is divorce-2.jpgFrom my 2009 Journal. Forty to 50 years ago, the topic of divorce in the church caused a lot of angst. The stigma of sin was plastered all over the couple, and the “guilty” parties were shunned. I listened to preachers quote Malachi 2:16 “I hate divorce,” to justify keeping a woman under bondage even to an abusive husband. Unfortunately, those same preachers neglected to preach on the rest of the verse.

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel. “I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife” (Malachi 2:16 Good News Translation).

One day I was stunned to read in the book of Jeremiah that God Himself chose to divorce!

I, the Lord, put faithless Israel away and have given her a bill of divorcement, because in her adultery His bride polluted and defiled the land (Jeremiah 3:8-9).

Yes, God hates divorce because He knows its heartaches firsthand. He longs for relationship and connection. He gave Israel repeated opportunities to repent and return to Him before He cut off relationship with Her. He gave them the best and thought they’d not turn away from following Him (v. 19), but they did.

The topic of divorce has many subtopics with a lot of emotional attachments. My main point here is to rail against Scriptural abuse that keeps people in bondage to legalism.

Your thoughts?

Does God Feel Pain?

God touched Jeremiah’s mouth and said, “Behold I have put My words in your mouth.”

From my 2009 Journal. The book of Jeremiah is his story, his testimony of how God spoke to him and called him to action. It includes strong imagery about the relationship between God the Lover and Israel who spurned His love.

  • I broke your bond and yoke to free you, but you shattered and snapped the bonds with Me.
  • I planted you, a choice vine, wholly of pure seed. But you turned into degenerate shoots of wild vine.
  • You wash yourself with much soap, yet your guilt and iniquity are still on you. You’re spotted, dirty and stained.
  • You’re like a female camel or donkey in heat! (Lots of lovers).
  • The images go on and on.

Donkey

God will not interact with everyone the same way. He’s too creative for that. But we can glean principles from Jeremiah’s life, truths that apply to us in this generation. It struck me today that God the Father experienced pain, rejection, and abandonment long before God the Son experienced it on earth. I want to live my life in such a way that I don’t ever cause Him pain, but I’m forever grateful that Jesus took all my pain onto His own body on the cross. 

What’s Your Excuse?

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV).

From my 2009 Journal. Jeremiah was a PK (Preacher’s Kid), for his father was a priest. One day God spoke directly to him—I assume in an audible voice. It’s pretty heady stuff to be chosen by God!

But Jeremiah’s objection to this calling reflected his fears: “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young” (1:6).

What excuses do I make for not following God’s command: she’s too hard to love; he won’t listen; I can’t because . . . ; I don’t know how; I don’t have time; I don’t have the money. . .

God’s answer to Jeremiah (and to me):  Don’t be afraid because I AM with you.

The antidote to fear is experiencing God’s presence.

I feel a connecting point with Jeremiah. When God called me to the ministry of inner healing prayer, the only reason I said no to my fears and yes to God was because I had a strong sense of His presence. You can read all about that story in our book Diamond Fractal.

Is God Proud or Humble?

From my 2009 Journal. Webster has several definitions for pride including the negative synonyms of “haughty” or “arrogant” or “puffed up.” A proud person in this sense is ego-centric and egotistical. He is like someone strutting around with a blindfold on, thinking he’s a peacock, when all along he’s a naked chicken. If you take his blindfold off, he’ll feel exposed and run for cover. Somehow we’ve attributed a negative connotation to this bird: “proud as a peacock.” But I think the small-minded chicken who coined this phrase was just jealous!

God is not proud according to this definition. “Puffed up” cannot apply to God because He cannot get any bigger.

Is God humble, then?

Humility is having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. It is attributing all to someone else of higher rank, and God can’t do that. Humility has no reference point or meaning for God because there is no one higher than He. Humility acknowledges that power and glory belong to a higher power. God IS the higher power.

Pride and humility are terms that are understood because they are relative to a different standard. God is His own standard.

However, a second definition of proud is “a sense of one’s own dignity or worth.” When I look at God, He is a peacock—majestic in all His splendor and worthy of admiration and “oohs” and “aahs.” He’s not showing off. He just IS. Beautiful, magnificent, splendor-filled, majestic, full of awe, unlike any other being in the universe, take-your-breath-away gorgeous.

By Definition #2, we could conclude that He is indeed proud: proud of His creation and having a self-awareness of His true identity.

What do you think?

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Praying for the Sick

From my 2009 Journal. I get a little confused when I hear others pray and teach on prayer for the sick. Chrissy claims the blood of Jesus “by His stripes we are healed” for anyone who is sick and expects instant physical healing. She had a little crisis of faith when her father passed away. One pastor says it’s weak praying to say, “If God wills” because we shouldn’t be asking for healing unless we know it’s His will. What if, he says, the illness is “unto death” and we don’t know the person’s heart? What if he/she needs to let go of rebellion before God wants to heal him/her? How can we ask if we don’t know what to ask for?

Maybe it’s God’s will that all be healed, but Man still has a will and a choice as to how he treats his body, and God is not obligated to override his choices. I can’t ask God to make a person choose something, but I can trust God to know how to get a person’s attention like He did for Jacob or for Jonah.

Somewhere there must be discernment in our prayers for the sick. The biblical author James says to pray for the sick, and the elders of the church should anoint with oil. Should we do this for every sniffle?

Sometimes I think we’re so focused on physical healing, we forget to pray for the spiritual. Jesus often mentioned the faith of the person who asked for healing. The disciples healed many sick after the resurrection. Did they stop to ask if the person wanted healing or what was preventing their healing?

Maybe our prayer for the sick could be, “Reveal to X anything that is preventing his healing, give him courage to face his pain, may God be honored through his responses and reactions, and heal his body if it will give God greater glory.”

I take comfort in the fact that God knows my heart. He can interpret my words and intent and use them for His glory. He knows me well enough to know what I believe and mean.

2020 Update.  I find it interesting to look back at how I struggled 10 years ago. Those questions no longer burn in my heart. It’s not that I have fewer questions; it’s that I’m more content with not knowing all the answers. I just ask and let God sort it out.  This past week a dear friend and prayer warrior had a massive stroke. The church gathered together to pray for her, but our emotions were conflicted. We wanted to see Mary Lee fully restored to health, but we opened our hearts and hands to release her to heaven. We trusted God to do what was best. Today she is dancing with the angels, and I’m okay with God saying no to the cries of our heart to give her physical life back.

photo of woman lying in hospital bed

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