Seek God, Not an Experience.

Journal 2016

The apostles performed many signs and wonders among the people . . . people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by impure spirits, and all of them were healed (Acts 5: 12-16, NIV).

Peter, the man who denied Jesus three times, is now performing miracles of healing. Why didn’t this happen while he was walking with Jesus before the ascension (aside from the time when Jesus sent the disciples out to the villages two by two)? Why now? The answer is the Holy Spirit. Peter didn’t ask for it. It was a gift, donated, conferred upon him—according to God’s design.

I lay to rest once and for all the notion/teaching that I’m missing something because I don’t speak in tongues, raise people from the dead, heal sickness and disease, or handle snakes without getting poisoned. I can cast out evil cosmic beings because—and only because—the person wills it to be so and because the demonic forces have been defeated at the cross.

I have no power in myself to do diddly-squat! It’s by God’s very will and choice that I draw breath and move and have my being.

It’s like I’ve been standing around with my palms up, asking to receive whatever God has for me. Instead, He says, “Just get to work! Quit standing around. When and if I offer you something, you’ll open your hand or reach for it in obedience. If you refuse a gift, then you’re being rude or disobedient. It’s not so polite to extend your hand to demand that someone give you a gift!”

Then the high priest and all his associates who were members of the party of the Sadducees were filled with jealousy (v. 17).

“And don’t be jealous,” God adds, “if I give a gift that you want, or think you deserve, to someone else. I know exactly what gift(s) you need—best for you and best for Me. Now get to work and enjoy what I’ve given you!”

A 2024 Update. I wrote this in 2016 in response to the emotion stirred up when someone claimed all believers were supposed to practice all the gifts. This week I previewed a book by Neil Miller titled Agents of Healing. Miller states that we all have authority to heal physical ailments, but we don’t all have the same power to do so. And that with practice and experience, we can increase our faith to do so. His arguments are well laid out and biblically and experientially verified, but I’m still mulling over whether or not we’re all commanded to practice all the gifts.

Miller sites the times when Jesus cast out demons without the person’s involvement or consent, but as God incarnate, He knew the innermost workings of a person’s heart and the plan of the Father to bring Him glory. In my ministry of inner healing prayer, I’ve found that involving the person’s will makes the process a whole lot easier.

How Would I respond?

From my 2016 Journal.

As I read Acts 5:16-6:15, I note a progression of violence, stemming from the Pharisees’ sin of unbelief, jealousy, and hard hearts. And the apostles’ responses are astonishing.

  • The apostles are imprisoned.
    • An angel frees them, and they return to preaching.
  • Peter and John are brought before the Sanhedrin, beaten and let go.
    • They continue preaching.
  • Stephen is arrested, preaches to his audience, and is stoned.
    • His last words are, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

Obviously, I wasn’t in their shoes, driven by God’s command and with the Holy Spirit propelling me forward, but . . . if I were in their situation, my first response would most likely have been fear, hiding, and kowtowing to the Pharisees’ bullying to avoid further pain. Flogging can be rather incapacitating, don’t you think! I wonder if God healed them instantly? Or did they go through a month of recovery with no antibiotics and their wounds miraculously not becoming infected?

In the flesh, I would have struggled for being unjustly treated. I would have cried unfair and prayed for justice, a staying of the abusers’ hands, a change to my circumstances . . .

Instead, they rejoiced! Extremely counter-intuitive!

I could claim I, too, would have responded in a godly way, but I’ve never been put to the test like this. God prepared the Apostles for this hour. I can trust God to prepare me as well for anything I must endure.

P.S. In Acts 7, Stephen boldly told the Sanhedrin to their faces that they were stiff-necked, stubborn murderers. When is it appropriate to call someone out for their sin? Obviously, the Holy Spirit guided his words, but I cannot even begin to imagine talking that way—to anyone! It’s not my temperament or personality. I’d be asking them all, “What are you feeling? How does it feel to hear me preaching? Why are you jealous?” I guess that’s why God didn’t call me to be a prophet!