Slander

Journal 2020

 Rid yourself of . . . slander. I Peter 2:1

Webster defines slander as “false and damaging statements about someone.”

This verse convicts me. I never intentionally say false things about others, but I can make assumptions that might not be accurate. I know it’s not right or fair or honoring, but my words of judgment fly out when I’m feeling triggered. We are all made in the image of God, part of the same race, so when I slander another human being, I hurt myself in the process.

What is the difference, I wonder, between stating a fact about someone (e.g. he’s an alcoholic) and slandering him (e.g. you’ll never believe what Michael did yesterday…) The first may just be acknowledging the truth, while the motive of the second is clearly meant to spread gossip. Is my intent to bring this person down to my level? To delight in sharing a juicy bit of news?

I heard recently someone’s recollection of her mother—that she never said an unkind word about other people. How commendable! “If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all,” is often attributed to the daughter of President Theodore Roosevelt. I want my words as an older, mature woman, to protect others in my speech, not tear them down because of my stuff coming to the surface—which, in the end, merely reveals the darkness of my own heart.

I repent and ask God’s forgiveness and mercy as He teaches me to #1 work through my triggers, and #2 hold my tongue.

Do not pay attention to every word people say or you may hear your servant cursing you …. For you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 (NIV)

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Caught in the Act

Journal 2006

The other day I made a disparaging remark about someone, turned around, and there she stood! I don’t know if she heard me or not. I pray she didn’t. But I felt awful. I can’t apologize to her since I don’t know if she heard me, for if she didn’t, it would only make things worse.

You’d think I’d learn not to say negative things about people or put others down behind their backs. If I only spoke words that I would say in front of them, I wouldn’t get caught red-handed (I wonder where that expression comes from?*). God forgive me!

Lord, help me remember to keep my mouth shut! And show me how to release the guilt.

A 2025 Update. What I’ve discovered is that when I have negative thoughts toward a person, there’s always a negative emotion beneath the words. It is always best to work through what I’m feeling before I open my mouth. But when I do slip up, I try to give myself grace and thank the Lord for revealing another unhealed place in my heart.


*Here are two claims for the origin of “caught red-handed.” Most sources say the red refers to blood, but I prefer the one about strawberry jam!

AI-generated

The Origin of “Caught Red-Handed”

Caught Red-handed – Meaning & Origin Of The Phrase