Tag Archives: temperament

Temperament and Triggers

Posted on by under Emotions

Journal 2018

I’ve been observing responses and reactions to life’s triggers from the perspective of different temperament types. I watched several people this week who were quick to verbally stand for right and defend the weak. I noticed others who could only see the behavior and had no patience for the wounded, making quick judgments and condemnations.

Ever since my healing journey began, I find I’m much more grace-filled toward people who struggle. It surely doesn’t excuse their responses, but I have more compassion toward those who fall or falter. I can see under or past the behavior.

On the other hand, I wish I had some people’s boldness to stand up to others to tell it like it is. Is that a built-in temperament type? I don’t keep silent now because of fear, like I used to. I just don’t have the boldness to tell people what I think they should do with their lives. Warning people that “I think you’ll regret that decision,” doesn’t come out of my mouth, and maybe it should. Calling people out on their sin or their choices takes enormous discernment, in my opinion. Maybe there’s still some codependency there, or maybe it’s just personality. Perhaps it’s the manner in which it is done that makes confronting feel uncomfortable to me.

I watched one person say to another: “Don’t do it, you’ll regret it.” My approach would have been, “Are you sure you want to do that? Have you considered that you might regret it?” One is more direct and straightforward, and perhaps that is what I’m noticing. I have an indirect approach. Both can be effective depending on the person or the recipient. God made us all different for a reason.

On Being Sick

Posted on by under Choices, Emotions

From my 2010 Journal. I don’t like being sick. Period. Other than hypochondriacs, I guess nobody does. It’s debilitating, annoying, and restricting. I don’t get sick very often, but when I do, I want the world to know about it. On the other hand, I like to be left alone to my misery, not hovered and fussed over. But I do like for people to know that I hurt and where. Somehow it helps to verbalize it. Why is that I wonder?

Some people are very private about their health (we were all shocked to hear of a friend’s death recently because she had told no one about her cancer); others blab every detail whether you want to hear about it not. What makes the difference? Wounding? (They crave the attention and sympathy to prove their worth.) Temperament? (Melancholics are more prone to complain, I suspect, than Sanguines.) Vows? (I have a friend who grew up with a mom who constantly verbalized her aches and pains, and she determined to do the opposite. This friend is a most gracious and pleasant person to be around in spite of her debilitating disease and chronic pain.)

Saying the words aloud is like putting around me cardboard shields of protection. People can still get into my space if needed, but it gives me more privacy or space from intrusion. I suspect this is an introvert thing. I seek to protect my energy, whereas a Sanguine craves the attention because people energize them.

So . . . if I don’t say the words and tell people how I’m feeling, they don’t know to give me space. And my dear, extrovert husband—all he wants to do is pay even more attention to me when I’m miserable—because, of course, that’s what he wants when he’s ill!

sickHow do you respond when you’re sick or in pain and why?