Journal 2006

Philip Yancy in his book The Jesus I Never Knew suggests that we get a false view of Jesus from our exposure to false teachings, life experiences, and poor examples. Perhaps my view of Jesus is slightly off-center I realize.

I watched the movie Anna and the King last night. The King of Siam has Christ-figure elements about him. His eyes are gentle and kind. His self-sacrifice for the sake of his wives and children. Room in his heart for one more. Of course there are major flaws in this analogy since he is human and a Buddhist, but there’s something about his character that draws me in, makes me sit up and take notice and love him.

Because I’m married, I can’t relax around most men—my heart stays on guard. But I’ve encountered three men in my life who make me think “Jesus.” One was a relative, one a friend, and another a stranger. Each had that quality or air that made me want to sit at his feet and learn.

Jesus is not my human daddy; He’s not my human husband; He’s not the King of Siam, a friend, or a relative. Who is He then? How do I picture Him? Am I afraid of Him? Is this why I need to come to Him as a little child, trusting, unself-conscious, needy, desiring to sit in His lap and be held …?

The verse in Isaiah that says there is no comeliness about Him that would draw us to Him trips me up. Of course that refers to His human form or perhaps to His battered body on the cross. But what if I could see Him in His risen, shining, radiant beauty? Would I be drawn to Him then?

I can approach Jesus and talk to Him about anything, and He doesn’t get angry or defensive or push me away. He listens with patience and waits for me to quit struggling, to relax and trust Him.

So how can I see Him? Many clients report seeing glorious revelations and pictures in another dimension. I visualize nothing. I have no inner landscape, no other world, no Land of Narnia. (How does one get to Narnia anyway without a wardrobe?) How does one get to see the face of Jesus? In the final scene in Finding Neverland, the playwright tells little Peter he can visit his deceased mother any time he pleases.

“How?” Peter asks.

“Just believe,” he says.

Just believe? How do you do that?

“Through the eyes of faith,” you might tell me.

But what is that? Give me more than words. Give me an experience. Give me a heavenly vision.

Without that, I return to an earthly example. I see Jesus in the eyes of my Grandpa Peterson. His gentle, kind eyes model for me what it feels like to come to Jesus as a little child and feel warmth and unconditional love.