Journal 2018

Psalm 88

In deep despair, the Psalmist Heman cries out to God, who seems to be silent. He blames God for his predicament and pain, claiming He has taken his companions and loved ones from him, and he feels God’s wrath.

Blame is a shifting of pain. I find when I quit blaming others (especially God) for my pain and turn around and face it, then pain can pour out and release, and God’s sweet and gentle voice will answer.

When a person blames me for her pain, it’s okay to examine my heart to see what actions of mine might have hurt her, but as long as she is deflecting her pain by blaming me, she will not heal inside.

Psalm 90

Because of his life experiences, Moses is keenly aware of the power of God’s wrath. I can’t identify with Moses, for my life experiences don’t include tragedy, earthquakes, rebellious neighbors, war, desert hardships, or enemies chasing me and threatening me. I am grateful that I get to live in America, in a strong brick house, with enough food that I never go to bed hungry, on a safe street, with freedom to worship. I don’t take my life for granted.

But I echo Moses’ prayer:

May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us. Establish the work of our hands for us. Yes, establish the work of our hands. (v. 17 NIV)

Psalm 91

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. (v. 1))

I need rest—not just physical, but emotional and spiritual. The key, according to this verse, is to dwell. Dwelling somewhere is not work. It just is. I don’t have to work at dwelling in my house. It’s where I live, work, sleep, eat, enjoy relationship. I don’t live at your house; I live in mine, where I’m most comfortable. Things are familiar.

My body is God’s temple, and He dwells in me. He never leaves, He’s always there, and I want Him to feel at home here in my house. Sometimes I go to a different room and shut the door on Him, but He’s still there waiting outside the door for me to unlock it so we can have sweet fellowship once more.

Psalm 92

The righteous… Will still bear fruit in old age. They will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright. He is my rock and there is no wickedness in him.” (vv. 12-15)

I don’t consider myself “old age,” but this brings comfort to my soul. Still bearing fruit, staying fresh and green, still proclaiming. Some days I don’t feel fresh and green, but I like the thought of still bearing fruit.

I watch some friends who never seem to age, and others who are withering. I suspect this has to do more with the physical and perhaps even the mental, but the spirit can stay strong.

Psalm 136

God used the same water (the Red Sea) to rescue Israel and to annihilate the Egyptian army. Same water, different results. This started me thinking of other scenarios where something has a dual purpose or outcome.

• The tongue: bless or curse
• Wind: provide cool in the heat or destroy as a tornado
• Fire: warm and cook or decimate forests and homes
• Trauma: keep us stuck in hurt or result in a healing ministry
• Roots: grow a tree or demolish a house foundation
• Internet: spread the gospel or spread gossip