Category Archives: Scripture

Thoughts on Judas

Posted on by under Choices, Emotions, God, Scripture

Journal 2016

At some point in His ministry, Jesus sent out the twelve disciples and gave them power

  • to drive out demons
  • to cure diseases
  • to heal the sick, and
  • to preach the kingdom of God. (Luke 9:1; Mark 6:7)

The twelve? That means that He gave those powers and gifts to Judas as well—the one He chose by the will of the Father, knowing he would betray Him. The one whose love of money was never cured though he spent three years at the Master’s feet.

Jesus sent them out two by two. Who got stuck with Judas? Was he so wicked at this time? Perhaps not. Perhaps he only had a “little sin” in his heart. But all the disciples struggled with unbelief and fear and pride. What was so different about Judas?

They were to take no food (what if they had a blood sugar problem?), no money (or credit cards for that matter), no change of clothes (ewww … would you want two sweaty, smelly men in your home?), and they were to preach repentance. Apparently Judas failed to heed his own warning.

Judas never asked Jesus to drive out his own demons. He never got to see the fruits of his labor. He missed the blessings and didn’t endure to the end of God’s plan, to the resurrection. He tried to avoid the pain in his heart and took his own life.

And yet … God’s plan could not be thwarted. His plan triumphed in the end. He used Judas’ poor choice to bring salvation to the whole world.

A 2024 Update. A couple students in our community took their own lives last month. I understand that when pain is overwhelming, a person can believe there is no alternative, but the premature end of a life feels like such a waste, a missed opportunity to bless others. I wonder how God will redeem these events in the lives of those who are left behind to pick up the pieces.

Feeling at Home

Posted on by under Choices, Emotions, God, Peace, Scripture

Journal 2006

. . . His Spirit in your inner self [indwelling your innermost being and personality] (Ephesians 3:16 Amplified)

Since my innermost being is home to the Holy Spirit, I want to make Him feel as at home and comfortable as I possibly can. I know how icky it feels in my earthly home when there’s tension and discord and fighting and self-centeredness. How at home does the Holy Spirit feel when I’m angry, peevish, sulky, self-centered, lonely* or at worst—when I sin, leaving dirty smudges on the windows of His house, keeping others from seeing His light shine through?

[*“Why are you lonely? Aren’t I here?” says the Holy Spirit]

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Staying Faithful

Posted on by under Scripture

Journal 2006

To the church at Philadelphia, Jesus said,

I know your deeds. Behold, I have put before you an open door which no one can shut, because you have a little power, and have followed My word, and have not denied My name. (Revelation 3:8 NASB)

It’s easy to be faithful on paper and in private. But how will I do if persecution arises? If I have to testify before unbelievers who are mocking me? I live such a small, sheltered, cushy life. I have a godly heritage; we own two cars; my husband has a job. It’s easy to profess Christ when there’s a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and a happy church to attend. I have never experienced persecution. Never lived in a war zone. Never suffered a broken bone or the heartache of a wayward child. Never been through divorce or the death of a close loved one. Never been through a natural disaster, been forced to do what I don’t want to do, not faced poverty or the temptation of riches; I live in a safe neighborhood. Never lived alone. I’m surrounded by people who love me and whom I love. No wonder I love Jesus! How will I respond in the hour of trial?

Lord, keep me faithful to the end.

A 2024 Update. Interesting that I forgot to mention my three miscarriages. I guess that’s the power of healing. And since I wrote this, I’ve grieved the loss of both my parents. I’ve also been through the fire of hatred, lies, and targeted anger from clients in the past few years. Does that count? I may be a slow learner, but today I’m at peace.

Rethinking How You Read the Bible

Posted on by under Scripture

Journal 2005

I’ve been taught all my life that we are to believe every word written in the Bible, but most of us pick and choose which rules and principles we want to follow. And if we question a portion of someone’s pet doctrine or rule, we’re told we’re going against Scripture.

There’s a reason, obviously, why the Apostle Paul’s letters are included in the canon, but one has to keep in mind that he wrote to a specific person or church about specific issues in the context of their culture. How different would these letters read if he lived today and wrote to our American congregations? Different needs, different pastors, different times, different issues.

For example, what would he say to American women today and their roles? Would he still demand they wear a head covering in church? Would he still admonish us to not usurp authority over our husbands?

How about rules for slaves? Would he decry sex trafficking? Perhaps Paul would address the subject of the homeless. Would he step into the arena of political opinion? Character qualities and general principles can be applied today, but specific rules in the Pauline epistles—probably not. All the instructions regarding the widow list, for example, don’t seem as relevant today, though he might still urge us to care for the marginalized.

The Scripture says that in latter times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons (I Timothy 4:1). I think it takes discernment to sort through all these Pauline rules.

If you want to explore this topic more, read Scot McKnight’s The Blue Parakeet: Rethinking How You Read the Bible.

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Heaven and Earth

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Journal 2006

In the book Heaven: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Heaven, Randy Alcorn teaches that the eternal heaven and earth will become one, that we will live on a literal earth, similar to the Garden of Eden. But in the intermediate heaven, we’ll be aware of what’s going on (on earth) and may even pray for our loved ones.

What if heaven, the kingdom of God, is spatially here right now, in another dimension, but we just can’t see it? Many people on earth today experience a portal into another world. Characters in the fictional series The Chronicles of Narnia, my D.I.D. (dissociative identity disorder) friends, and Jesus Himself, saw/see angels and demons, the past and the future, but in a different dimension. Why can some “see” and others cannot? Is that where certain gifts of the Spirit come into play? Is it that an abused child is exposed to this portal (forbidden to the rest of us to seek it) by the demons?

In The Shining Man with Hurt Hands, Ellis Skofield tells how he worked with multiples (D.I.D.) in chatrooms on the Internet. Here’s his explanation of that fifth dimension (the model for most of us). Our mind controls our body in the material world. In the spiritual world, our spirit hears from the Holy Spirit OR is tempted by other spirits. Our spirit then transfers what it hears to our mind, where we decide to ignore or act on the received data with our bodies.

For us ordinary folks, there’s an almost impenetrable wall between these two worlds, and the Bible commands us not to try to see through it. However, mediums, satanic cults, and occultists of many stripes see through that wall all the time. Inadvertently, so do many multiples, and their ability to do so is what gives us an approach through which we can help them.

I understand the concept; I’m just not comfortable with the diagram layout. I see it more as three-dimensional, but I can’t draw it. I see the Holy Spirit inside the mind, which is inside the body; and the evil spirits dwell outside the body of the believer. But the diagram is helpful for seeing the separation of the material vs. immaterial (for now) worlds.

What is your experience with this, and how would you draw it?

Questions on the Rapture

Posted on by under Scripture

Journal 2005

The passage in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17 has always puzzled me. And it’s hard to find someone with whom to reasonably discuss it because I find that most evangelicals have their minds made up about their eschatological position based on verses that supposedly support their claim. These verses leave me with more questions than answers. Anyone care to give your opinion?

What does it mean, “God will bring with Him those who are dead”?

  • Bring them where? To heaven? To earth? Bring them back to life? Believers? Nonbelievers?

“We who are alive and remain till the coming of the Lord will not precede those who have fallen asleep.”

  • If you stop reading here, it makes sense. Obviously, the dead arrive in heaven before the living do.

“The Lord returns with a shout and a trumpet and the dead in Christ will rise first.”

  • First before whom? Before the living? Before unbelievers?
  • What will rise? Their bodies? Aren’t their spirits already risen?

“Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we’ll always be with the Lord.”

  • If this happens in the twinkling of an eye, why the “first” and “precede” references? Doesn’t this happen all at once?

On earth, humans are body/soul/spirit (yes, I’m a trichotomist). In heaven (or wherever the holding place is for spirits separated from their bodies), there’s only spirit—or does that include the soul? After the resurrection of the dead, there will be a reunion of the body and the spirit (and presumably the soul wherever that’s been).

And why the choice of words “asleep” instead of “dead”? Jesus obviously saw this from a different perspective than His disciples.

If this passage (along with I Corinthians 15) was the only teaching on eschatology, I’d be convinced of a post-tribulation rapture. But based on other verses, and contrary to many evangelicals, I lean toward a mid-trib position.

In the end, of course, my position is irrelevant. Just because I believe something, doesn’t make it so. What I do stake my life on is that Jesus is coming back someday. Period.

Temptation to Pride

Posted on by under Choices, Emotions, God, Scripture

Journal 2006

The tug of my human heart says I have the same temptation toward pride, the same bent, as Satan himself. I want to be like God. I want the universe to revolve around me. I want glory. Like the Apostle Paul, I want to shout, “O wretched man that I am; who shall deliver me from the body of this death [idolatrous desire]?” (Romans 7:24).

My visual is that I’m at the center of a circle, craving the world’s honor and praise. Though I want to experience significance, I don’t want this idolatry of self.  I want to echo John the Baptist’s words: “He must increase; I must decrease.”

Paul viewed himself as a slave of God (the Master of the Mansion, a perfect gentleman who looks after and cares for His servants and who gives good gifts according to their service for Him.) Kitchen maid or head chef, butler or chimney sweep—we all have our jobs to do. If we do it with a complaining spirit, we shift the focus to the idolatry of self. If we serve with gratitude and love, our load feels lighter. We’re driven to excellence. We want the Master of the Mansion to look good. Shining the gold on the newel of the banister becomes an act of worship. Fetching His slippers is a privilege. We adore Him. Why? Because He makes each one of His servants feel significant. He catches our eye. He notices. “Nice job on the newel, Charlie. Thank you for remembering to feed my dogs, Susan. I love you, Karen.”

But there are other metaphors: “No longer do I call you My servants, but My friends (John 15:15). You are My bride (Isaiah 54:10). I bought you with a price (I Corinthians 7:23). You were sold for nothing, and you shall be redeemed without money” (Isaiah 52:3).

And we remember who we were and from whence we came. And we gladly, gratefully, joyfully enter into a love relationship with our Rescuer.

But then that niggling question comes—how did we get into the slave marketplace? How did we end up in the prostitute’s parlor? And we blame God. He created us, didn’t He? It’s His fault for bringing us into existence in the first place. And we face that universal question, “Why was I born?” Just so He could have more slaves? How bitter is that?

But no. He wants relationship. “He satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with goodness” (Psalm 107:9).

“Will you be My bride?” asks Jesus. I have searched for you, I have found you, I have courted you. Will you say yes? I will exchange your dirty garments for clean, bright white ones. I will give you a crown worthy of a queen.”

And in humility, all pride gone, I bow prostrate at His feet. I am unworthy. He deserves all the glory, the honor, the praise.

Coronation Day is coming. Preparations are in the works. I want my heart to be ready. I want to complete the tasks He’s given me to do in preparation of the wedding day and His coronation ceremony.

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What Does It Mean to Abide in Christ?

Posted on by under God, Scripture

Journal 2006

I hear the words “Abide in Me,” but I need a visual to make them more concrete. I picture myself in a hollow tree (if you know my affinity for trees, this should not surprise you) with a door and some windows in the trunk. It’s cozy inside, and I can rest (abide in Christ), or work if I choose, tidying up my space.

The inside of the tree is lined with a bread-like substance that I can munch on when I’m hungry. It always replenishes itself. And water? No problem. There’s a fountain of living water in the center.

When doubters peer through my windows, I can choose to believe their lies or I can tell them to go away. When I reject them, angels take their place to guard me.

In this visual, the tree house does not represent salvation. I could choose to step outside of the house—but there is no protection there from the elements and from the wolves. Better to stay inside and trust God to bring people to the door so we can fellowship with each other, and I can teach them the lessons I’ve learned.

If Jesus asks me to, I’m willing to leave my safe, cozy shelter. But first I must arm myself with the weapons of warfare, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. Why would I venture outside the tree? There are a few lost souls who are too weak to crawl to the door, and I need to find them, carry them to my house, and nurse them back to health. I may have to hand-feed them until they’re strong enough to feed themselves.

A 2024 Update. I may need to rethink this metaphor. I was processing life through a codependency grid back then, believing it was my job to rescue people. If I’m abiding in Christ, aren’t I taking my treehouse with me wherever I go? But why do I need warfare weapons if I’m inside my house? What other visual would help?

Pharisees and Hypocrites

Posted on by under Choices, God, Scripture

Journal 2016

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else . . . (Luke 18:9 NIV)

I am a recovering Pharisee. I identify more with the law than with grace, with Martha more than Mary, with the big brother rather than the prodigal son, with self-righteousness over God’s righteousness. God, help me!

Had I been at the synagogue the day Jesus healed the crippled woman, I would have been the Pharisee condemning Jesus for working on the Sabbath. That is my natural, Adamic nature, the old man, of the world. Yes, I’ve come a long, long way, but I’m not there yet—and won’t be until I get to heaven. Whenever I think I’m “better than,” I’ve crossed the line into self-righteousness.

So, I explore this thought:  If I choose wisely (the God path), does that make me better than those who choose to resist God? My flesh says, “Yes, thus making me superior.” But that is arrogance. Scorn does not become me. Disgust or rolling the eyes or looking down at someone—how can that be a good choice?

I am responsible for my own faith, my own choices, my own reactions, and responses. I don’t know another person’s heart—not really. We are each accountable to our own master—be it God or Satan or money or pain.

Since I’ve chosen God as my master, then I only answer to Him. It is not my job to judge another person’s choices. I might notice that they’ve chosen a poor master, and I can urge them to reconsider their path, but they may be bound in chains and may not know that freedom is available to them. Why get upset and rage at them for not opening their eyes—when they are truly blinded by the god of this world and cannot see until the God of Heaven opens their eyes.

But God has set me free from the law of sin and death. He gives light and life and freedom. No more condemnation, judgment, pride, or superiority. Let God be God and me the chiefest of sinners whom God has redeemed.

You will never understand the heart of a Pharisee unless you realize that he sees the plank in his eye as belonging to others. (Erwin Lutzer in his book Who Are You to Judge?)

On Doubt and Faith

Posted on by under Emotions, God, Scripture

Journal 2016

 “They did not believe it [the resurrection]” (Mark 16:11 NIV).

 “They did not believe them [the 2 men on the road to Emmaus] either” (Mark 16:11).

 “Jesus rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen” (Mark 16:14).

Why is it so hard to believe someone else’s testimony? And when evidence is right there in my face, why do I refuse to believe it? What makes me dig in my heals and deny the truth? Everyone (including Mary, the ten disciples, and eventually Thomas) finally believed when they experientially saw Jesus with their own eyes.

I suspect fear is at the bottom of it. When I’m working with clients with D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder), the denial parts might say, “If I believe it happened, then I’ll have to admit it was real.”

“Then what?” I’ll ask.

“Then I’ll feel overwhelmed (. . . or scared . . . or someone might find out . . . or I’ll be killed).”

I wonder what lie the disciples believed that kept their denial part in place: “It’s too good to be true (. . . or I can’t let myself feel hope for fear I’ll be disappointed).” I think that’s it. Jesus’ death was a HUGE disappointment, an overwhelmingly painful loss.

Yet when Jesus met them, He didn’t encourage them like He did when someone was fearful. He rebuked and chided them for their unbelief. According to I Samuel 15:23, stubbornness (ASV) rebellion (KJV) presumption (ESV) defiance (HCSB) is as the sin of witchcraft. Apparently, there was an element of demonic control or attachment that perhaps got planted at their point of pain. Jesus doesn’t need to dig around in their psyches to help them discover why they’ve dug in their heels. He bluntly rebukes them.

God is patient with our struggles, our fears, and our doubts, but He’s not so patient with lack of faith. How many times did He say, “O ye of little faith?” There’s no pointing of fingers here. I’m plenty guilty myself. But my heart strongly desires to root out all stubbornness, rebellion, and lack of faith.

I’m currently reading books on the neuroscience of the brain and wondering how to meld that knowledge with Jesus’ words.

The women at the tomb believed as soon as the angels spoke truth to them. The men, however, continued to doubt when presented with the evidence (the women’s testimony and an empty tomb). The disciples on the road to Emmaus couldn’t seem to grasp the truth, and Jesus rebuked them. Even when the disciples saw Jesus in the room, and the joy center of their brain was activated, they had a hard time believing.

We know that the brain is a complex organ—different parts of the brain are responsible for different functions. The occipital for eyes, the amygdala for emotion, the frontal cortex for logic and reasoning, and memory resides in a different part.

Jesus created the human brain. He knew what part of the brain was being accessed during fear (Peter walking on the water; the disciples in the storm on the sea of Galilee). He knew that the frontal cortex shuts down during a fight/flight/freeze situation. Yet He seemed impatient with them: “Why do you doubt? Why do you have so little faith? Why don’t you believe when the evidence is in front of you that I’m alive? Stop doubting!”

What makes us doubt? Is the emotion center too strong? Are there lies imbedded in that emotion? Once truth enters the brain, doubt and fear flee. Jesus understood all this, so was He really impatient or was He challenging them to accept HIM, the truth, the way, the life?

I think women often believe more easily than men. Perhaps that’s why Satan appealed to Eve first. Is that because our emotion center is more active than our reason center? Was Jesus instructing these men to get in touch with their emotional side? Women are also more apt to be duped, more gullible. I know I am.

Lord, help my unbelief.