Journal 2019

Esther, Daniel, and Joseph

Esther, Daniel, and the patriarch Joseph (Genesis 37+) teach me the tension of choosing to do right over the temptation to save my life. Each of these characters were exiles out of their home country, ripped from their immediate families, their destinies to become “For such a time as this.” They were trustworthy and courageous, and they each triumphantly passed their test.

I sometimes fear I will not stand firm in a time of trial. Yet my life belongs to God. I yield daily to his kingship over my life, surrendered to do His will and bidding. He will not give me a temptation that I cannot overcome. He will make a way of escape from double binds.

Job

Wealth did not deter Job from worshipping God, but it seemed to be a potential hindrance to his kids. If Job was so blameless and upright, why did he think his 10 kids might not follow in his footsteps (Chapter 1)? When he received news that all his children and possessions got wiped out at once, he fell to the ground and worshiped and didn’t sin by charging God with wrongdoing. His relationship was with God, not his things or his family or his health.

Samson

God chose Samson to become a judge in Israel (Judges 13-16), but He had to work out His plan through the framework of Samson’s human choices. Samson married a Philistine wife. Was this God’s choice, or did He use and repurpose Samson’s decision to accomplish His will? Does it have to be either-or? Can it be both-and?

The angel who visited Samson’s mom and dad (Manoah) said his name was incomprehensible. Not till we enter heaven’s gates will we begin to understand God’s ways.

I believe God chooses certain individuals (such as Samson, Abram, Moses, Joseph, and Mary) for special tasks, but does that mean God has a special plan for every single person who ever walked the earth? What was His plan for the Canaanites whom Israel conquered?

Abused women

I think Judges 20-21 contain the most bizarre stories in the Bible. The first begins with a Levite man whose concubine gets mad at him and returns to her father’s house. The man goes to retrieve her and ends up in the town of Gibeah where lecherous men surround the house where they’re spending the night. To placate them, his elderly host offers his virgin daughter, but instead, the Levite shoves his concubine out the door to be abused all night. The next morning when he finds the woman dead on the doorstep, he cuts her into 12 pieces and sends one part to each of the 12 tribes of Israel. Civil war ensures, and the tribe of Benjamin gets nearly wiped out.

Next comes the jump-out-and-capture-a-bride story. (You need to read this Scripture passage for the full story!) Besides grieving the murder of all their family members, these unsuspecting virgins experienced PTSD from this event I’m quite sure.

From the abused concubine to the old man’s virgin daughter, to the women seized by the Benjamite remnant, the plight of women during this time was deplorable! Men had full control and power over them.

I can be eternally grateful for living where I do and when I do.

Hannah and Samuel

Hannah and Samuel—a one-of-a-kind tale (I Samuel 1-3): a mother’s painful grief over infertility and a silent vow made out of deep emotion. God hears Hannah’s prayer, she keeps her vow, and He uses her sacrifice to raise up a prophet. Hannah names her miracle son Samuel, which means “Name of God” or “God has heard.” Later, completing the circle, God speaks audibly to Samuel.

God knows how to weave our choices (good or bad) to bring good. But, I have to wonder …  what if Hannah had been able to work through her grief and bitterness before she made that vow?  What if she’d learned contentment and grace and love and support for her sister-wife?

And Samuel? Talk about grief! At the age of my youngest grandson, he was left in the hands of strangers. Did he feel abandoned? Unloved? Did he understand the weight of his destiny? This was no boarding school experience. This was worse. He was left under the care and supervision of a fat priest who couldn’t control his own boys.

The adult prophet Samuel warns the people what it will be like to have a king, but they refuse to heed his warning. They forfeit their freedom so they can have someone to fight their battles for them. (Who’s better than God I wonder!) It sounds like a pact with the devil. Warning! Red light! The RR crossing sign is coming down, the police siren is heading your way. The detour sign means business about the flooded road. But the people ignored the prophet.

Why do we ignore warning signs (on the road, on our car’s dashboard, in our bodies)? We are driven by emotion and false beliefs. (It won’t happen to me; I’ll be the exception to the rule.) In our minds, X seems more formidable than Y.

I hope I can learn my life lessons through these characters’ examples rather than through my own stubbornness.