From my 2015 Journal.
I ran roughshod over a client’s will today in an inner healing prayer session, and God gently rebuked me with the thought: “Sometimes you push toward the goal and miss what’s on the way.”
I admit that I’m a very goal-oriented person, going pell-mell through life, trying to meet deadlines, and I miss the fun in the process. Think road trip. If there’s a time crunch, take the freeway. But the scenic route is more relaxing, candy for the soul. The trade-off, of course, is more hours of traveling, more expense, and potentially missing out on what’s waiting for you on the other end of your trip because you took so long. But the process is part of the adventure.
I understand now how my work with the souls of clients can do more harm than good—that I can inadvertently traumatize them. Yikes! But then I must give myself grace—gaining experience is also part of the process.
I feel like I’m holding the reins of a team of highly charged horses, but Jesus says, “Be still.” How am I supposed to win the race if I calm the horses?
And again I hear, “Sometimes you push toward the goal and miss what’s along the way.”
My inner drive (my horses) need help!
Jesus says to give Him the reins. He lets the horses charge around the track to release their pent-up energy. Then we can begin a more controlled, deliberate walk around the track (or in this case, plow the field—because you don’t need racehorses on a farm!)
Which do you prefer—highway or scenic route?
Interesting question. When I first began the journey, my path was a tiny narrow path between massive chasms. One misstep and I’d have plunged off, never to be seen again. There was only room for me and the Lord. That was all about learning to trust the Lord and His Voice. Then the path widened and I had to learn to enjoy the journey. How does one enjoy the journey of healing from childhood trauma? I wanted it to go away … but I didn’t want to miss a minute of the healing. And therein was the key for me. So I said yes to the healing and went to the trauma, and somehow, in spite of the pain, I loved the journey. I think I felt like one of those horses; the more healing i got, the faster I wanted to go. when I forgot, the Lord gently reminded me to enjoy the journey, to ponder on the healing. To rejoice. I eventually learned to just take everything to the Lord and toss it in His lap. As I did, He healed big swathes of things. I don’t ask the details, I just let Him have it and am grateful for the healing. This, to me, is the freeway, and the journey is just as beautiful. But from time to time, I miss the slower journey, wonder what I’m missing on this faster run. Still, this is where I’m at, so I’ll take it, and trust the rest to the Lord.